Relationship Success Secrets – Win With Everyone Using a Simple Strategy Even a Child Could Use
Ask any organization or group of people what their biggest problem is . . . chances are, they’ll say communication. If you think about it, communication problems are relationship problems in disguise.
Good, trusting relationships allow for high-quality communication. Without the relationship there is a limit to what can be communicated or accomplished. Half a century of outcome research in the field psychotherapy indicates that relationships are the key to therapeutic success.
Really good relationships require care and feeding. Yes, there is an art to relationships, and relationships take constant effort. Plus, they require knowledge and skill.
Talk to any truly successful person, and you will meet someone who has done well with relationships.
A True Story
When I was just out of school and in my early twenties, I met a multi-millionaire who ran a variety of successful businesses. I asked him if there was a secret to his success.
“Son,” he said, “there are many secrets, but the biggest of them all — it’s bigger than the Empire State Building and the Sears Building in Chicago combined — is more important than anything you can think of. It’s the very bedrock of society. You’ve heard of the ladder of success, haven’t you?”
“Yes, Sir,” I said.
“Well, the ladder of success is made of relationships! And,” he whispered, “Treat everyone you meet like a child . . . and you’ll go places!”
At the time, I didn’t see it, but over the years I have come to see the truth in what he was saying. After doing counseling, coaching and consulting, for nearly three decades, I can tell you how right he was!
What Was He Saying?
All of us are really children in disguise. All ogres, big bad wolves, all crooks and vampires, all swindlers, saints and do-gooders, all statesmen, parents and teachers of any kind, all scientists, funeral directors and centenarians, all musicians, actors and wimps are children . . . everyone on earth is a child inside.
How Does It Help?
It’s simple and effective. The magic of creating and sustaining incredibly successful and enjoyable relationships begins with this knowledge. Just remembering it is the first step toward success . . .
remembering that these children in your life want to be valued, adored and loved, and they crave respect, attention and acknowledgment.
As soon as you forget about them, they’ll get ticked!
So, all you have to do is supply the need. Give ’em what they want. When you do so, they will attach great affection and importance to you. You’ll not only be well liked, but you’ll enjoy their support when you need it.
Each of your relationships will prosper if you develop a consistent habit of giving the relationship what it needs to thrive, within reason, of course, treating each person in your life as though he is special.
Give everyone the understanding and patience you would give to a child. Treat every single person like you would a child who has the potential of growing up someday and doing great things in the world. Give your love, support and encouragement. Be patient and understanding. Never lose your temper with a child, never embarrass or mistreat a vulnerable child.
That’s right . . . we’re all vulnerable.
Think about it, if a child is beautiful, what do you do? You say, “What a beautiful child, or what lovely eyes or hair you have!”
But with adults, we are often less open and expressive.
I have learned to give compliments and kudos freely, even at the risk of being misunderstood. I love making people feel good. I love touching people’s lives in caring ways. I have learned to go out of my way to give words of encouragement or congratulations. It feels so good!
People will brag on a child to his face, but seldom will they do the same for an adult.
I have learned to see the beautiful child that resides in everyone, and by appealing to that child and respecting it, I am often able to forge partnerships and alliances which one might think impossible.
You can do the same.
Put this idea to work for you by always finding the beautiful, lonely or talented child in everyone, and finding some way to recognize, inspire or celebrate the beauty therein.
Remember my formula for terrific relationships:
1. Art (Creativity)
2. Constant effort
3. Knowledge and skill
4. Treat everyone you meet like a child
– Are easily hurt, and prone to bouts of moodiness, despair and ill-logic
– Sometimes think only with their hearts
– Behave like spoiled brats at least once in a while
Accept these realities, treat all people as children and give them the dignity and respect they deserve or need, and you will be famously effective with people of all kinds . . . and you will be a huge success!
If you ever feel lost or discouraged about your relationships, and aren’t sure what to do . . . just recall the words of my prestigious and successful mentor . . .
and you’ll know what to do to make your relationships soar.