Internet Marketing – How to Ruin Your Internet Business in Eight Easy Steps
If you want to guarantee failure in your Internet business, there is a definite road to follow to obtain that objective. It has never failed to work, it works every time. All you need to do is to follow these eight steps I lay out for you, and I promise perfect results every time.
1) Get to know hype as a true asset and use it at every opportunity. Try this one: Make $3,000,000 an hour while working out at Bally’s. Just $19.95 for the whole plan. Who can resist that one!
2) Never ever do any research on a company you are interested in. Don’t worry, if you can’t see the value of hype, this one will get the job done. You will be a big failure in no time. Trust me!
3) Forget about spending even a penny on your business. Why should you? If you were to spend a few hundred dollars to get traffic to your site, you may get lots of visitors that might spend some money there and put some dollars in your bank account. Who wants that! That would be becoming a success; we don’t want to touch that with a ten foot pole, do we?
4) Don’t pay much attention to your business. Let it run itself, hopefully into the ground. We have much more important things to do with out time, like hanging out at the beach or working out at Bally’s, don’t we?
5) Try to get as many hits to your site as you can that won’t do you any good as you can. Who cares if 70 year old men continually go to your site about pregnant teenagers or childbirth. Your site is there to be seen by everyone. Isn’t it!
6) A must for failing is not having a plan of act. Those things take time and make too much sense. If you come up with a good plan of action, you might just be successful. That would spoil everything we are trying to do here. Forget about that!
7) Try to get away with doing as little as possible. If you don’t follow this one, you would be putting in some work. People that do work sometimes become successful. This one is a definite no-no.
8) If you haven’t been able to follow my rules in 1-7 so far, there is something you must do at this stage of the game to make up for it. You must give up. Quit doing what you are doing. If you don’t, you are putting yourself in danger of not failing. Heaven forbid that!
Thankfully, over 95% of all business owners manage to stick to the plan and obtain the expected outcome. Congratulations to all these losers and failures out there! Keep up the great WORK. Yips! Did I just say a dirty word!