Building A Solid Foundation In Your Marriage
Marriage is the merging not only of two very different human beings, but also of two genders that are at totally opposite ends of the personality spectrum. Mars and Venus. It takes effort and good maintenance to make it work, but, as is true of all worthwhile endeavours, we get out of it what we are willing to put into it. Our marriage should be right up there at the top of our priority list. Love is a good foundation on which to build, but when the newness wears off and the day-to-day living takes over, there needs to be some substance and determination to keep a marriage going strong.
A Good Marriage Is Made Up Of Two Good Forgivers.
This is so true. There are going to be times when personalities clash. You may have overlooked something your partner feels very strongly about or has a sentimental view on. Feelings may be inadvertently hurt. Living habits become an issue – one is a neat freak, the other your basic slob. In these situations, certain character traits and skills can diffuse a hostile environment. One of these is forgiveness. Try to keep your disagreements constructive and reasonable, with a view to reaching a fair compromise, because a good marriage is all about compromise.
Communication and Honesty
Good communication can ward off disaster. Make a commitment to each other from the beginning to always openly communicate your feelings. But do so in a spirit of love and patience. If you fight, fight fair. That means no name-calling, no hitting below the belt, no sulking or holding grudges. Other qualities vital to a good marriage are patience, flexibility and unselfishness.
While you may be individuals, together you are also one single entity: a couple. You owe each other loyalty and honesty. Never discuss your private matters with others or complain to friends of your mate’s faults. If you can’t overlook it, pick a calm moment, sit down together, and discuss it with your mate. If you feel the need of a mediator, involve a minister or other counsellor, or a marriage therapist. As to honesty, never hide things that your mate has a right to know about or that will affect him or her also – things like overspending or a serious error in judgement. These are the times when your relationship is strengthened through experiencing your mate’s understanding and loyal support.
Sharing Common Goals
Boredom is a common threat to marriages and, along with that, taking each other for granted. Don’t allow discontent to fester. Always find interests and causes you can share in common, be it family commitments, charitable or religious causes, travelling, cooking. Keep the relationship alive by doing things together. And don’t forget to enjoy the little things – a shared sunset, a song, an annoying habit that is also endearing.
Life is too short and unpredictable. Plan for the future, but live in the NOW also. Keep that marriage alive and happy, and you’ll have no need for regrets.