3 Laws to Flirting in Your Text Messages
Why is texting one of the greatest tools for flirting and building attraction?
Well, first think about everything that goes into building attraction with someone in the real world. Such as your hair, eyes, smell, confidence, words, timing, clothes, witty remarks, and the list goes on. I call these attraction triggers. Now, it’s hard to build attraction with someone in the real world because you have to account for every attraction trigger or else you will be unsuccessful in your dating. So basically, the less attraction triggers you have to deal with the better your chances of being successful in building attraction and interest. Texting does just that. All you have to account for is words and timing and that’s it. You text the right words at the right time and you can expect to triple or double your success in dating. I have seen it happen hundreds of times.
Flirting is the key to getting the ball rolling in the right direction. It’s the unnecessary, but crucial part in building attraction. One of your main purposes when texting is to flirt. I’m going to share with you the 3 most important laws that you must follow whenever you are flirting in your text messages.
Law #1 – Build suspense with timing (ten minute rule)
You must, at times, build suspense when text messaging. It creates the roller coaster effect in your text messages. I always teach the ten minute rule to people that are just getting started in texting… which is, “never send a text message within ten minutes of a vulnerable text message.” In other words, if the person text messages you something that makes them vulnerable such as, “ya I’ll come over, what time?” or “what are you doing tonight?”, you need to hold them in that uneasy (vulnerable) place for ten minutes before giving the relief that everything is cool with you.
It’s kind of like when you lose your keys or wallet. At first, it’s not too bad and you start looking. Then, as time goes on, you become more frantic and you start feeling uneasy inside. After about ten minutes, you are in a stressed-out state and you wish they would just appear! When you finally find them, you get this rush of relief and you feel really good because of the suspense and possibility of not finding them. Apply this same rule in your text messages. Build suspense at times.
Law #2 – Keep it light, fun and un-needy
You’re probably very fond of the stressful feeling of trying to send the right text message to someone you like?!? You’ve also probably sent text messages and immediately after sending them, you thought of something that would have been better to send, right? That’s because you cared way too much about what you were sending and it came across in your message. If you relax, and truly understand that there are plenty of fish in the sea, then you will send light and fun messages that don’t say, “please write back, i need you!!!”
Law #3 – Choose words that build attraction not friendship
Words are the most powerful influence in anyone’s life. It determines where you stand in any relationship and how strong that relationship is going to be. Now, I can’t just give you a bunch of words to text because it would take a lot more than just an article to explain everything (However, if you want a ton of proven text messages that work you should definitely get the ebook “The Ultimate Texting Guide.” It teaches you exactly what to text to be successful with women.)
What I can do is give you tips that help you construct more flirty text messages. That is, “text to build attraction not friendship.” Men fail big time here because they are so used to sending friendly messages and they carry that style into their text messages with women. What you’re first going to do is, before you ever send the message, read it and at the best of your emotional awareness, feel if it’s a friendly message or if it’s a message that is building interest (attraction.) Once you understand the difference more clearly, you will become a lot more successful with flirting and being desired.
Key point for men: you need to send messages that make women feel something. For example, let’s change those last messages to something more flirty: “Hey honey” “I was just in class and the teacher there reminded me of you, except she was cuter.” “Hey, we’re heading to a party, you should come?” You don’t get on a roller coaster because it’s boring, you get on it because you know you’re going to feel something – she will text you and desire you if you can create that same feeling.